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— Dating a single mom can be fun, freeing, and fraught with stumbling blocks. She wouldn’t be staying on the phone if she weren’t interested in getting to know you. And do it right at the beginning of the date request. She either pays a babysitter or she asks a friend, sister, or neighbor to babysit.Here’s a quick guide to avoiding some basic dating missteps I’ve encountered on the road to finding love and friendship as a single Mom. Why not be clear that you’re interested in getting to know her? –When a man dances around getting together, I get weary. But why do you keep calling me, building up to it and then racing off the phone? Less travel time for her saves her some money and/or guilt.Wake up/brush teeth/feed child/drop off child at school/work all day/ pick up child from school/food shop/run errands/shower/read to child/draw with child/clean/do the laundry/do the dishes/make dinner/make lunch/make a card to go in the lunchbox/dry hair/put on make up/get dressed/go on a date/pay the babysitter/get in pajamas/put away the laundry/put away the dishes/write the food list/pay bills/check the mail/file papers/call parent/check email/go to sleep.

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I want the person who looks in my eyes and sees how much I love my people — deeply, unconditionally, and with a smile on my face — and wants to earn a place in that group.

I just mean that when needs overlap or contradict, and I'm in a position where fulfilling the needs of my relationship means diminishing my ability to meet the needs of my child, that's totally not happening. But if someone going to go without a piece of my energy or resources, it definitely won't ever be my kid.

I want someone who sees me so clearly that they know they are in second place and it’s a title they are proud of.

Because that’s the hardest part of dating a single mom.

It’s not our hours; We are masters of babysitters, school lunches, and magic sound machines that keep our children in their beds precisely when we need them to be.

Consider how present she is when you’re together before you throw out the baby with the bath water.