Widow dating again


11-Feb-2020 20:49

—Samuel Richardson All of us have romantic predicaments; widows (and widowers) seem to have even more. And if they find another lover, while still loving their late spouse, how can these two lovers reside together in their hearts?

For widows, is loving again worth the effort of having to adjust to another person?

Understandably, since Carolina and Andres were together for over a decade, the 33-year-old struggled to move on from the tragedy.

In fact, Carolina found herself gaining over 30 pounds amid using food as a coping mechanism.

There is ample evidence that this is possible, both in the diachronic sense of loving one person after another and in the synchronic sense of having two lovers at the same time. Their love for two people is more complex given the continuing impact of bereavement, even years after the loss.

The widow's ongoing relationship and bond to the deceased remains a central aspect of her life.

She has to cope not merely with the new situation of loving two men at the same time, but also with the shift in the way she has loved her deceased husband: a shift from a relationship with a physical companion who provides active support and love to one who is no longer alive and cannot be active in her life (see here).

In the romantic ideology, profound love should last forever.

Even in one of the darkest periods of history, the Holocaust, people fell in love, despite the risks of expressing it.

Thus, romantic breakups are often described as a kind of death.



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