Tao of dating for women
Act with integrity, and share your intentions for yourself and for the relationship with your partner.
When you meet someone new, maintain a beginner’s mind.
“Our future.” Beginnings of relationships serve us well. We connect with hope, we trust the other person, we form a partnership. He is not perfect, he is far from ideal, he may or may not be “right” for you. The stronger the physical chemistry, the more addictive the sex, the higher the pedestal. I’m a champion daydreamer, but I’ve learned to be careful to overindulge in ruminations, fantasies or unrealistic projections of any kind, especially in the early stages of infatuation. If this emotional connection is only felt by the woman, turmoil is inevitable. Whether in a relationship or not, solitude is a fact of life. But, at the end of the day, the truth is: we are alone, whether we are “single” or coupled. If we’re lucky, we find a relationship that promotes mutual growth and lasts beyond the first date.
It can cause unhealthy projections, seemingly tricking us into falling for douchebags. If you’re sleeping with someone, whether you think it’s meaningful or not, you are creating a connection.
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Not to mention the biochemical happiness that floods the brain and causes the euphoria of “falling in love.” Ahhhh. (Most men, straight or gay, seem quite capable of unattached sex.) At the same time, sex outside of a committed relationship can be fun and helpful in its own weird way (e.g. In reality, I have control over nothing and no one except my responses to the things that happen to me. For the past year, I’ve been shifting away from planning and actively aiming to live in the present moment as much as possible. But if it deteriorates, comfort alone is not a good rationale to keep seeing someone. it would be such a hassle to find someone new.” Just stop it! It simply means you are not attached to their physical form only. Reading through my old journals, I am astonished at how often I called breakups before they happened. I’m closer to 40, so perhaps I’m older and more antiquated with life bursting to the seams beneath my milestone belt buckle, but I just loved this.