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But there are similarities: We know the other has secrets, but we don't care to find out more. When Dave* and I met in our late 20s, I knew that he was a player. We also had chemistry beyond anything else I'd ever experienced. He'd refuse to engage, saying he had nothing to apologize for.It's an attitude people think of as very French — the idea that you can have an affair a healthy marriage. We yelled about cheating — he'd do it, I'd do it, we'd be furious with each other.But if you’re just looking for a way to feel less lonely, it’s a sign that you’re not done with the healing process yet. But finding that out early on is the only fair thing for both of you.If you’re ready to move on and you decide to say yes to a date, be honest with your potential partner from the very start. You don’t have to tell them every detail of your marriage breakdown, but do let them know that the divorce is in process (if it’s not, you might want to rethink dating until it is), and be clear that reconciliation with your ex is not something you want.The arguments started up again during my first pregnancy.
Follow these tips to help you figure out if you’re ready for dating while separated, or dating someone who is separated but not divorced and how to get the most out of dating if you decide to take the plunge.
Before, I felt we could both have our cake and eat it, too, but the last thing I wanted to do when I was pregnant was seek out an affair.