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In the end, however, Davis says it's perhaps the least egregious of the red flags. Still, you shouldn't necessarily steer clear of this man. "Language is often indicative of someone's true intentions, so over-sexualizing a public profile shows he isn't selective and may be one-track minded." Roberts agrees, saying that kind of profile is "basically flirting with anyone who finds him," which doesn't make a woman feel special.
You're getting a glimpse of his baggage, she says, and everyone has baggage. He uses words like can't, won't, shouldn't, couldn't, wouldn't and don't. "Many people translate differently on the page from what they are in person," says Davis. It may also mean he doesn't know how to interact with women or pursue a relationship naturally, adds Roberts. He wants a woman who "takes care of herself." Translation: He wants a woman with a fit physique, says Davis.
He has a checklist of characteristics for his ideal mate.
He wants a woman who likes hiking, spending time with family, dogs (specifically his two black labs), nonfiction, the mountains over the beach, traveling abroad and trying new cuisines. Long lists "usually mean that your match has had a lot of bad experiences—and probably a terrible divorce—so he's looking to avoid these issues in the future," says Davis. A cousin of the previous red flag, an extensive list of negative declarations could show the dater is set in his ways.
So focus on the context and whether the "I" statements sound like bragging.
If not, Roberts says, "It's way more telling whether his attention is balanced in messages and on actual dates with you." 9. "Divorcees, in particular, often feel the need to divulge the details of their marriage," explains Davis.
While she admits it's daunting to complete this part, Davis warns, "If you can't feel a connection with his profile, it may be challenging to feel drawn to him offline. He describes himself as "loyal" and "trustworthy." "These are things about which you shouldn't have to reassure people from the get-go," says Roberts.You always have the choice to experience our sites without personalized advertising based on your web browsing activity by visiting the DAA's Consumer Choice page, the NAI's website, and/or the EU online choices page, from each of your browsers or devices.