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"If you want very badly to have a different and better relationship than the ones you grew up with, you can accomplish that if you go about it very consciously." Swenson offers these pointers: • Don't jump in.
"Ideally you should date for a couple of years before engagement -- and not just long distance," she says.
Both men are "really interested in politics and the stock market, and they agree on everything," she says.
"Also, when I'm upset about something, they'll always help me put it in perspective." Both share the name Mike, and they even look alike.
"The longer I'm with Aaron, the more I notice idiosyncratic things, like the fact that they both love politics, and are both bad drivers, and both love going to supermarket for like two hours and buying too much stuff," she laughs.
Righting old wrongs Sometimes, people choose mates who resemble their parents not because of fond memories, but to make amends for an unhappy childhood.
Make sure your relationship has room for give and take." • Talk about life issues.
And, say experts, their experiences aren't that unusual.
A Hungarian researcher studied the facial features of 52 families and found a significant correlation between the appearance of men and their fathers-in-law and those of women and their mothers-in-law.