Decoding mixed dating signals

20-Sep-2020 11:00

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This sounds really harsh at the face of it; however, I have also been a victim to what we may perceive as mixed signals. It is very crucial we realize, the difference between doing things to keep him versus being the person that he truly wants to be with.As a rule, mixed signals are usually just soft nos.Some women, especially, might try to let men down easy for fear that you guys might go apeshit on us for not wanting to date you—which happens enough to feel like a justified fear. We all wish we could just say, “Hey Frederico, I don’t like you like that.” But when you’re that direct, there’s a risk of an overreaction, and so you take the easy road: You just give what we all lovingly call “mixed signals” until one or both of you gives up on the endeavor.It's not like if someone doesn’t fit that, they’re out.

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If you have three or five or twenty of these signs—you planned on getting dinner but she left after drinks; she kept checking the time; she left your text on “read” for 3 days while she was posting nonstop on Instagram about being bored at work; she went in for a hug when you went in for a kiss—then, yeah, it’s not working. If she doesn’t respond at all, you may have missed a couple of the earlier signs that she wasn’t into it, and you should watch out for them in the future. Closure doesn’t really exist; “closure” usually amounts to getting someone to admit that they didn’t like you, which is weird.

The point is—and this holds true for everything dating-related—a maybe is a no. Sometimes, when someone tells you that they’re busy this week, they really in Philly for a work event.

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