Dating someone older with kids


21-May-2020 12:10

When you finally meet your sweetheart's offspring, engage them at whatever level they seem to feel most comfortable.

Ask them about school and what they're learning, what they're reading or what they thought of a particular TV show or kid-centric movie without coming across as trying too hard.

Whether they decide you're the coolest dude on the planet or punctuate every exchange with "You're not my real dad" depends on your confidence in yourself and your readiness for parenthood.

Depending on the age and maturity of the child, the upheaval created by Mom and Dad no longer living under the same roof doesn't need to be complicated by premature exposure to a succession of prospective replacements.

Although I don’t know all of the details of your situation, it is perfectly normal to feel jealous from time to time.

What’s important is to not let your feelings of jealousy inform or dictate your actions.

Early dates with your new love should be breakfasts or lunches when the kids are in school, or evening dates where the children have already been taken to a friend's house or the babysitter's before you arrive.

If you haven't spent that much time around children and young adults, you've got a lot of homework ahead of you.

Their mother can obviously fill in many of these blanks for you but it wouldn't hurt to find a parent or teacher who is familiar with this age group and can give you advice and suggestions.

Neither preach to them nor bore them to death with "when I was your age" stories. Trust takes time to build and children are no exception to this rule.

Long before they start to envision you as a permanent fixture, they need to observe your actions and see how you relate to them as individuals and not just attachments to their mother.

Whether you're the first man she has dated since her divorce or one of several, there's no reason to rush into a meet and greet with the kidlets.

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For one thing, they need time to get used to the idea that their mother has her own needs for companionship.It's likewise critical that you practice the art of sharing and accept that you're not always going to be invited to join them in outings and family activities.