Dating site protocol
I’m not talking about anonymous trolls — I’m talking about how you represent yourself.
Listen, I have no problem if you want to add 1 inch or subtract five pounds. But, if the profiles I read are any indication, EVERYONE seems to be “a world-class traveler who’s happy chilling at home on a Friday or hitting the town, loves to explore ethnic restaurants, and enjoys outside activities like hiking, kayaking, or biking.” And then when you go on a date, they’d rather Netflix and chill, or they enjoy sleeping in on a Saturday and lounging around eating pizza. It’s just that you don’t want to misrepresent yourself.
Also, it conveys that she doesn’t have friends, doesn’t do anything, and isn’t active.
That doesn’t mean I use them all the time, but at least I know what they are.
If they tell you a slightly embarrassing story, guess what you should do? If someone writes to you “Hey, I like that picture of you in Tulum! People are just testing the water with their first emails. There is no correlation between bad spelling or grammar and intelligence. Keep your homonyms straight (your, you’re) and your possessives minimal (it’s, its).
I know you use internet slang and text language to your friends, but this is not your friend.
I know this election, in particular, has been extremely divisive, but this is not the time to start sharing your opinions on politics or any other possibly fiery topics. We just avoid those topics because we are adults and enjoy our friendship. The woman you’re talking to is a human being, not an object. I know men tend to just say what enters their heads without passing it through a filter.
If you draw out a position that is different from yours right off the bat, you might completely discount the person. It prompts interesting discussions and opens our eyes to multiple sides of an issue, so keep your convo light and fun at the beginning. It can be understandable in person when they get their wires crossed and trip over their tongue. When I am instructing my male clients, I tell them to imagine they are talking to their sister or grandmother at first. The flirting can come later after you’ve had a few emails or calls.
I think three back-and-forths (six total emails) is the sweet spot before exchanging numbers or setting up a date, but I’ll allow four for those nervous types. You want to find out sooner rather than later if this person does or does not mesh with you, so get out there and meet them.