Dating selfish women
It doesn’t have to be about marriage, but can be more about learning to love and feel loved again. Be intentional with your time, attention, and actions. If you’re not in a hurry, there are plenty of fish in the sea, and plenty of time to find one that’s just right. They help you get through the daily grind just knowing they exist.
She also turned around and fought with me about the virtues of TV overall, and how TV was no less interactive than reading a book or playing a game with someone. You are going to be spending a lot of time with this person, out of the bedroom doing other things, and you’d be better of seeing if your “out of the sack” experience is good too.
When you are describing your relationship to a friend, notice the words you use. What are the highlights that you are proud to share about this person? Are you open and free with your expressions of affection or desire? Are you holding back, or withholding some information for fear of upsetting the other person?
All of these are clues that the relating part of the relationship might still need some exploration. And now that we have our kids, and our independence, we can be more intentional and clear about what we want in our next relationship.
Dating after divorce is tricky too, and I’ve found some things I think are good indicators of how whole a person is, and how ready they are for a healthy relationship.
Sure, your dating profile says something like, “Let’s be friends first and see where that takes us.” But most people I meet are really hoping that friendship takes us to the next wave of affection. We have found our own way out of the desert of depression and despair. Their divorce is still too painful, or their relationship with their ex is still too volatile. If, however you begin to think your shit is sufficiently together to date again, some new boundaries are in order.
You are likely to take some of the “stand-in” damage for the anger that needs a place to dissipate. But pay attention to how this person deals with these setbacks or conflicts. In my experience, I find a potential partner who has had kids (they can be older or younger than mine) is more likely to be accepting and accommodating of my relationship to my kids. Sure, it’s an interruption, and sure it puts the “special friend” in a secondary role, but it’s clear to me that my kids emotional and physical well-being is much more important than me having a girlfriend.