But even though it may seem attractive and comfortable, being with your same type can create problems too, Overbo warned."Often what can happen in those relationships is one person ends up dominating in [each preference], and the other person has to flex outside of theirs," she explained.I may be doing [each item] 20 minutes before it needs to be done, but I'll get it done on time, not two days ahead of time.'" My belief about arguing was right.With any of these differences, "over time, if there isn't a real understanding about why this other person comes at things [differently], resentment can build, and you may think, 'Gosh, this person doesn't really appreciate what I need,'" Overbo said.He was a Southern gentleman just missing the bow tie, and I was his girly companion in pink, white, and red. I'm an ENFJ, and he, as an ISTJ, thought pretty differently than me.When I heard the letters, I started imagining our points of tension—but then I stopped myself.But they're far from guaranteed "because there's more to every relationship than just personality type." Still, Overbo noted a few red flags with opposite pairings: "That can be a great combination when you're looking for balance, but it can also cause some hiccups along the way." An example: After a hard day, an E-type may want to talk and "can be seen as maybe barraging [an I-type] with a lot of conversation and a lot of talking.
If all we really want is for people to understand us, the Myers-Briggs puts everyone one step closer, reminding us all to be aware of the many other ways people think.
An example: When inviting people to a wedding, "a T-type may take that spreadsheet approach and be sort of be detached and think about the fact that we can only invite X number of people.
[Meanwhile,] the F-type is thinking, 'Well gosh, if I invite this person, then the other person might wonder why they weren't included.' They're just more focused on what is the impact of this decision on other people?
In our arguments, he'd seem cold and indifferent to me; I'd seem unnecessarily emotional to him.
I focused on conflict points, which letters can reveal.
Overbo suggests using type "as a way to really engage them further. Instead, my mind got ahead of me, and I convinced myself we weren't compatible.