Dating an obsessive man
Scarily, it's the exact same circuit that gets triggered in cocaine addicts."Once it's activated, it leaves you highly motivated to get what you're after, whether it's drugs or a person," says Fisher.This article was co-authored by Trudi Griffin, LPC.Trudi Griffin is a Licensed Professional Counselor in Wisconsin."I literally started following redheads down the street to see what they had that I didn't." It didn't help that her guy seemed to get off on making her jealous."Once, he casually mentioned that he was 'haunted' by his ex," a remark that left Berlin constantly worried that she would lose him.She received her MS in Clinical Mental Health Counseling from Marquette University in 2011.
"He was the first person I'd been with sexually," says Berlin, who was a college freshman at the time.What drives a woman to go through a guy's email, linger outside his house in the pouring rain, or ditch her best friends for the chance to possibly run into her crush?The answer may lie within the same tiny area of the brain that fuels your most destructive addictions.As far as I'm aware she's never directly said it to him though. When you spend time with people all week, even if it’s part-time, it’s natural that some people may find themselves attracted to one another. This is not just an oh, he has unresolved feelings scenario; his behavior is — as you pointed out — obsessive. It is not your job to fix him or to cure him of this obsession.
Being new, I had no idea the level of his interest in her until it was too late and I was already involved. He messages her every day, buys her often expensive things all the time, always brings her up in conversation when we're alone together, spends all his time on our nights out next to her, his phone passcode is her birthday, and he swaps his shifts to be on with her. Am I the only one who thinks the other girl is stringing him along by not being blunt with him? It is also not your job to sort out her communication with him. Tell him that you have no interest in dating someone who spends their time talking, thinking, and focusing on someone else.
Be open and honest with your boyfriend in regards to how his jealousy is damaging to you.