Dating advice for geeks
Do you really want our relationship to be about these tattoos you don’t like, or could we find a way to just be kind to each other?
” 10 “I’m scared my parents are gonna catch me stealing their Adderall.” Well, yeah!
I’m sure that’s not an easy decision, but what if you could make decisions about what you want without calling yourself names in the process?
5 “captain awkward how to dump someone” Quick review: 6 “Hi dad mom died sex” Whatever word association game is being played here, I want out.
boundaries, BREAKING UP, Captain Awkward's Dating Guide for Geeks, communications, control, creeps, Culture, emotional abuse, Enthusiastic Consent, ethics, Families, family, love, making up, manipulation, Manners, Parents, Roommates, saying no, Search Terms, self-care, Sex, Social Interactions, THE FIELD OF NO FUCKS GIVEN, Work, writing Hello! If the husband wants to make some more friends, he presumably has all the same resources that other people use to meet each other (Meet Up, hobbies, pubs, churches, sports, community theater/music, trivia night, political activism, volunteering) and all the modes of communication & social media people use to get in touch with friends from other phases of life at his disposal. ” “Sure, I’ll be the designated driver, text me 20 minutes out and I’ll pick you up. ” “Go ahead and take that art class on Saturday mornings, we’ll find the money.” etc.) is a pretty good place to start.
Search terms have piled up, let’s do the thing where we answer the search strings people typed in that led them here as if they are questions. If a spouse wants to be supportive of this friendmaking effort, doing what you can to make sure there is time & money & space available for what he does want to do (“Sure, we can have a couple people over for dinner this weekend! Otherwise, he’s gotta take the lead and do the work, he’s not a toddler that you arrange play dates for or a dog you drop off at doggy day care.
Try inviting these people to your house if you want to spend time with them, and if it really is about being inviting to something in particular just say it: Then withdraw. 13 “Best response to someone who is seeking for a relationship from you.” Hands down, the truth about what you want is probably best. ” Not if their ideas about your gender conflict with what you know to be true about yourself!
Ironically, feeling like I’m “too much,” like my needs are a burden, is also a form of scarcity: it indicates that I don’t think I’m worthy of my needs being met.
Here is another bunch of things I often think but did not know quite how to say, about how there are lots of kinds of love and connection in our life and romantic and/or sexual relationships are just one kind of human interaction, not a Whole Separate Branch of Being Alive: “People often consider romantic relationships to be in a league of their own, completely separate from platonic friendships.