Dating a girl with a kid
It went fine.” —Matthew, 45, Huntington Beach, CADoes having children make you look for different things in a partner? “This is important: Even when your kid is an asshole, a mom can’t—and shouldn’t—choose the other person.
It’s your child and your priority, no matter how much you love that man.
Dating as a parent means constantly juggling and negotiating multiple peoples’ needs and wants.
There are a lot of tough questions with no good answers.
Is it easier to date someone else who also has kids—someone who will “get it” when you can’t be spontaneous or flexible with your schedule?
Or is it easier to date someone who doesn’t have kids whose schedule is wide open and can more easily work around yours? “It's on my profile because it's a huge part of my life.
(Not everyone can just wait until their kids accept one of the governesses they’ve hired and then marry her, ahem, Captain Von Trapp). I went through a BUNCH of iterations before settling on that.Reassuring my kid that she’ll always be the priority.” —Susan, 57, Phoenix, AZWhen do you introduce someone to your kids?And what makes you decide that it’s okay to introduce them? Stability, how they take care of themselves, how quick they are to anger, how they treat service workers, and whether they smoke or not (instant deal-breaker) all became really important once I became a single, full-time parent.” —Matthew, 45, Huntington Beach, CADo you usually date people who have kids or who don’t have kids?Also, scheduling trips is hard and that's an important thing for relationships in my opinion.
I'm also just fucking tired as shit a lot.” —Adam, 34, Atlanta, GA“My kids live with me 24/7—there’s no kid-free weekends or anything like that.
“I’ve generally waited 5-6 months or longer to introduce them to any partners, and some people they never met because I never felt it was someone with long-term potential.” —Jeff, 52, Boston, MA“This is something I’m wrestling with now. I also pay attention to how someone talks about their kids—lovingly? “I’ve mostly dated women with kids, because parents and non-parents have pretty different experiences and that’s a divide that’s hard to bridge.