Cancer survivors and dating
I’ll say, ' You can push on them—they’re hard!
' Having that conversation makes the next steps better. Today I’m all about hope."Nicole Seagriff, 31, a primary care provider in New York City; diagnosed four years ago"Breast cancer runs in my family: I just assumed that I would get diagnosed.
I recently met a guy who made it to my ' A team,' meaning he could be a real contender.
My answers: Laundry is my favorite chore, and I’m a breast cancer survivor. The first guy I had sex with after cancer was a beautiful, tattooed philosopher. I’m glad they do, though; now I’m using them to find The One. I have bikini shots on my profile because I’m proud of my body: I want to show my “shark bite”—the scar on my belly from the reconstruction—and my ' Frankenboob,' which used to be higher than the other one but has fallen into place.
I was coming out of a sh-tty six months—I’d been diagnosed as stage I, at age 34, and had a right-side mastectomy, chemo, and a new breast reconstructed using tissue from my belly. So when I met this man at a bar on a rare night out with a girlfriend, I was out of practice; my sexuality was asleep. Then he touched my new breast, which I could not and will not ever feel, and I started crying, angry, like, ' Don’t bother! ' He looked me in the eye and said, ' But you remember, right? ' Well, then, close your eyes and remember.' It was the most beautiful thing anyone could have said to me. Guys who read my profile say, ' Congratulations on your survivorship!
It’s my way of saying, ' If you don’t want to know, you’re probably not my match.' That picture has encouraged beautiful first-date conversations about how life doesn’t go the way we want but that doesn’t mean it’s not good. I’ve started to gravitate to people who haven’t had such easy roads.
Only one guy I dated didn’t want to talk about my cancer history. I just met someone on the app; he’s my age but has been through divorce.
Finding my partner is important, but I’ve been busy working and getting my doctorate.