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When I started at Ok Cupid, fresh out of Princeton with a computer science degree, I thought the literal database of New York City’s single men at my fingertips would help me find a fellow math nerd.Instead I was hung up on the hipster without a high school degree who sat two desks across from me. Even before #Me Too and Silicon Valley’s reckoning with sexual harassment, I considered intra-office dating off-limits.“I think being slapped in the face during sex is the kind of thing you feel out as you get intimate with someone,” Will said, leaning back in his chair. At 23, I’d worked at Ok Cupid for two years and was used to talking frankly about sex in the office. I buried my gaze in a spreadsheet, avoiding his eyes.I’d hoped I would learn the answer eventually, but not like this. “Statistically, 18 percent of men and 12 percent of women say they’re into it.” No, we were not negotiating the terms of a Fifty Shades-style S&M contract.
On the weekend before Thanksgiving, Elisa Caref, an environmental educator from the Upper West Side, met a cute guy at a bar on the Lower East Side.
According to Ok Cupid, I was highly compatible with them, but I was hung up on Will.